2 Apr 2011

I was a ghost of a girl that I wanted to be most

Christina Perri - The Lonely 

2am, where do I begin
Crying off my face again
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed

I'm a ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again

Too afraid, to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
For the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me till I fall asleep

I'm a ghost of a girl
That I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl
That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby

Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again

Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me
And the lonely

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again



 
I wouldn't be able to live without music. Without talented people who have the ability to write down such truths in their songs. I live through music most of the time. Music helps me think. It helps me understand. Myself and others. Helps me breathe. If only I could be able to express myself through music, but sadly there is not a musical bone in this body. So I only have to put my trust in the talent of others and enjoy their work. Which I gladly do.

When I heard The Lonely by Christina Perri for the first time just earlier today my heart ached. Physcially. I can feel her pain. I understand exactly what she is singing about. No, I'm not saying that is the place I am in now, but still. I know what she means. 100%.

Loneliness is something you have to let in. You have to learn to love it. Give your heart to it. If you let it take over without letting it in: it will destroy you. And sometimes it does. Destroy you. At least for a while. It's not until you feel safe in the arms of loneliness that you will learn to love it. I might still have a little to go even though I already thought I had opened my heart to it.

But I am no ghost.

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